Second Graders Receive Jesus for First Time

     On Saturday, April 28, 2012, the St. Pius V Catholic School second graders (and several students from other grades) received Jesus for the first time, surrounded by their families and friends. Special congratulations to all who received, and to their families!

      Watching the students approach the altar to receive Jesus, their parents' hands on their shoulders guiding and supporting them, I was filled with a great sense of joy. As an adult, the Eucharist strengthens and sustains me, and so I'm very happy to see these students take another step towards this kind of relationship with Jesus.

     I ask you to join me, this week, in praying for the second graders (and those few others) who made their First Communion on Saturday. Even more, though, I ask you to join me in setting a good example for them. Let's all show them how to be faithful adults by attending Mass at least weekly on Saturday evening or Sunday and receiving Jesus worthily.  Let's show them how to be human and humble by making peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Let's set the tone in our households by praying with our kids, and by providing them with the type of experiences that are the "fertile soil" in which their young faith can grow. 

     May God continue to bless us all!

Image Credit: http://www.cruzblanca.org/hermanoleon/byn/rc/eu19.gif

Struggling to Believe

"The Church truly knows that only God, Whom she serves, meets the deepest longings of the human heart, which is never fully satisfied by what this world has to offer." (Gaudium et Spes, #41)

     Let this quote from Pope Paul VI's Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, Gaudium et Spes ("Joy and Hope"), sink in, and ask yourself the same question with which I struggle-- do I believe this deep in my heart?

The human heart . . . is never fully satisfied by what this world has to offer.

Only God . . . meets the deepest longings of the human heart.

     As faithful as I try to be, I expend a lot of energy chasing things this world has to offer in order to try to satisfy the longing in my heart. As much as I tell God that all I want is Him, the reality of my life doesn't always live up to these words. Anybody out there in the same boat?

     So, if we struggle to believe this or to live it, imagine the confusion and struggle in store for our children (and students), whose eyes are trained on us, absorbing our beliefs, being formed by our guidance, and being shaped by the reflection of our own relationship with the Heavenly Father. Perhaps it's time we throw ourselves completely into our Father's arms, asking Him to take the place of all the things we seek out as we try to meet the longing of our hearts?

     If we are to grow faith-filled kids, can we risk doing any less?

Photo credit: Christopher JL via photo pin cc

Who Taught You How to Love?

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byn/rc/ev3pa17d.gif

Who taught you how to love? 

Not the feeling of affection.  That's a natural emotion. No one had to teach you that, and it's not love-- agape love. I mean, who taught you how to give selflessly to another person, not counting the cost, day in and day out, without complaint? Loving selflessly does not come naturally to us-- been around a three year old lately?  So, who taught you?

Your mother?  Father?  A grandparent? Your spouse? A close friend?  

In the Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes, the Church teaches that "Parents . . . are, so to speak, the interpreters of . . . [God's] love." When I stop and think about this, I can't help but get a little bit nervous.  After all, "selfless" isn't always the best word to describe me, and yet there it is in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2214: "The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood."  One way to translate this is that I am to reflect God for my children (and my students). I am to "interpret" God's Son-sacrificing, pain-enduring, grave-shattering, unending love in a way that they can come to know God more closely, and (as if that weren't hard enough) desire to love in that same way someday themselves. Thankfully I (and you, too) am not on my own in this. Supporting me in this endeavor are my Savior, my Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, the entire communion of saints, and a worldwide (and local) Church. (I'm going to need all the help I can get.)

Like I said, I'm not the poster child for selflessness.  Are you?  Sure, we all have our moments, right? But, a good examination of conscience for both parents and teachers might be to look at our own actions through the eyes of our children/students: Do I work without complaint? Do I set aside my own wants in the service of others? Do I show my children/students "a still more excellent way" (1 Cor. 12:31)-- the way of love?

The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2214)

Parents . . . should realize that they are thereby cooperators with the love of God the Creator, and are, so to speak, the interpreters of that love.  (Gaudium et Spes #50)

Heaven First, Harvard Second

Last week I had the pleasure of visiting a Catholic school in San Diego, California for an accreditation visit as part of a team of educators. ("Accreditation" is education jargon for the process a school undergoes in order to evaluate its programs, plan for future improvement, and then have their work reviewed by an outside committee of educators.) During this process, I was able to meet with members of the school community-- clergy, administrators, teachers, students, parents, alumni-- everyone with whom I spoke enjoyed sharing their experiences with the school.


During one meeting, however, a school parent said something that really impacted me, and I offer it to you for your consideration: "I send my child to this school because it's heaven first, and Harvard second."


Needless to say, I was floored by the simplicity and beauty of this parent's statement. I found this thought to be both an inspiration and a challenge. As both a parent of a Catholic school student and as a Catholic school administrator, these five words-- heaven first, and Harvard second--  will, I hope, keep my priorities straight as I guide my child and my school.  


Yes, the parent in me wants my child to excel academically, and the administrator in me wants to provide the strongest, most challenging academic program we can for our students.


But, eternity edges out academics for me-- both personally and professionally. The faith development of my student/our students has to be number one, with academics being the second highest priority. When we put God first, the rest falls into place:


But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. (Mt. 6:33)


Have a blessed Holy Week and Easter.

photo credit: Daniel Pascoal via photopin cc

12 Years of St. Joe

My "well-used" copy of the Novena to St. Joseph.

In 2000, I had the great fortune to be able to participate in a pilgrimage of sorts to the East Coast and Canada.  Among our several stops was St. Joseph's Oratory of Mount Royal in Montreal, Quebec.  (Visit their website.) Aside from being stunningly beautiful, the Oratory is an incredibly spiritual and moving place, a tribute to my patron saint.  During my visit, I stopped in the Oratory bookstore and spent 50 cents on a small Novena to St. Joseph.(left) This little 23-page booklet is a powerful example of the old adage "Don't judge a book by its cover" (or cover price!).

I couldn't say how many times I've been through this novena since I found it twelve years ago-- too many to count.  (Someday I hope to ask St. Joseph, since I'm sure he's been keeping track.)  What I like best about the novena is the way it focuses on a different quality or role of St. Joseph each day, explaining in plain language how St. Joseph's life is an example for ours.  

This week we celebrate the Feast of St. Joseph (March 19).  I'd like to share with you a small portion of the Novena to St. Joseph, Fourth Day: "St. Joseph, The Father of Jesus,"

Saint Joseph, teach us to love our own children as you loved Jesus.  From the example of our love may they learn to appreciate faith, purity, devotion, and respect for all that is beautiful.  May their vision of life always be Christ-centered.  Amen.

In these few short words, two big ideas are related.  

First, our children learn from our example of love.  As parents and teachers, let's never forget this.  We don't have to be perfect, but we can be great examples of imperfection as we seek to love by living out faith, purity, devotion, and respect.  

Second, our "vision of life" should be Christ-centered.  That means Christ first, before all other considerations.  Christ in all things, all times, all situations, all difficulties, all joys, all triumphs, all trials.

Please join with me on the Feast of St. Joseph this week to pray for all parents, particularly the fathers, of our school community, our parish, and our world. 

Do you have a favorite novena?  What's your favorite quality of your patron saint?  Share these in the comments below, and particularly with your children/students!

Explaining "Honor" to Kids

Photo by BenedictFrancis

Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience.  (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2216)

Back when I was an eighth grade teacher, I tried very hard to make sure my eighth graders understood what it meant to "honor" their father and mother.  Many of them had the mistaken impression that as long as they did what their parents told them, they were following God's commandment.  

After a little prodding I was usually able to get them to admit that even though they eventually ended up doing what mom and dad said, they weren't very respectful while doing it.  Typically during the interchange between them and their parents, the kids admitted to raising their voices, losing their tempers, rolling their eyes, and/or loudly sighing their utter disapproval, etc.  

Sound familiar?

That's when I hit them with the truth.  God's law isn't just about making sure the body or mind is on board-- that's only part of the story! As their creator, God has a right not only to their bodies or minds, but also to their HEARTS! The cold, hard truth was that my students were NOT living up to the Fourth Commandment when they were disrespectful, complaining, and sarcastic . . . EVEN if they ended up doing what mom and dad said!

So, the next time your child (or student) sighs and rolls his eyes while grumpily taking out the trash, pull out Matthew 15:8 on him: "Hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy about you when he said: 'This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.'" The look of shock on his face alone will be worth the few minutes it takes to memorize the verse!

Seriously though, obedience by itself is not enough to fulfill the Fourth Commandment. The hard-heartedness of anger and sarcasm shows a lack of "docility" or submissiveness that is part of true respect and honor for parents. 

When trying to help our children understand the depth of the command to "Honor your father and mother," it can help to explain to them this concrete difference: "doing what I say is obedience; doing what I say with a heart that bears no anger is HONOR."


P.S.  Teachers, grandparents, etc. . . . BONUS.  This one applies to you, too!  (CCC 2217 & 2220)

The Real Deal

Anyone who has read the various entries in this blog by now has discovered the real deal: Growing Faith-Filled KIDS isn't mainly about the kids. I acknowledge this seems counter-intuitive, but the truth is that growing faith filled kids is less about the kids, and more about us-- the parents and teachers, and our own faith lives. In some sense, the old adage, "you reap what you sow," is never more clear than in parenting and teaching since children are the ultimate mirror.  Parker Palmer, an author and educator said it best:

"As I teach, I project the condition of my soul onto my students . . . and our way of being together. The entanglements I experience in the classroom are often no more or less than the convolutions of my inner life." (Palmer, Parker; The Courage to Teach, p. 2).

The implications for teachers is clear, but for parents a rewording helps make it clear: "As I parent, I project the condition of my soul onto my children . . . and our family life. The entanglements I experience in our home are often no more or less than the convolutions of my inner(spiritual) life."

As I write this I am fully aware that I risk both offending people and losing readers. Today's world seems to prize the ability to lay blame elsewhere.  I myself dislike being reminded that the problems and difficulties I experience in my life are often the result of my own doing, but ultimately I end up thanking God for the wake-up call that allows me to see reality clearly.

So if you're determined to stick with me now, I ask: what's the condition of your soul? If it's anything like mine, it needs some work. The only thing I can be one hundred percent sure of is that no human being who reads (or writes!) this blog is perfect. We all need a spiritual wake-up call. Following Palmer's lead, perhaps we can determine areas that need our attention by taking some time today to get in touch with the "condition of [our] soul." 

We can ask God for the strength and courage to look inward instead of trying to find outward sources of blame. We all know those areas that seem to be a consistent problem in our family/classroom life. We can resolve to be aware of them and to work on them for the sake of our kids.

If we are to grow faith-filled kids, can we risk doing any less?

For any fathers reading this who'd like an even greater challenge, Catholic writer Matthew Warner has written a great post at his blog Fallible Blogma, called "It's My Fault." If you're anything like me, you will be humbled by it, challenged by it, and ultimately blessed by it. Click here to give it a read!

Your Daddy's Got You

Photo Credit: aarongilson via photopin cc

A few weeks ago my second child, a beautiful baby girl was born. Subsequently, I have lost any claim to being a tough guy, a stern parent, or a hard-nosed disciplinarian. In fact, my behavior while holding this gorgeous bundle of joy has revealed my gooey marshmallow insides for the whole world to see.

Case in point-- four days after my daughter was born, I stood in my kitchen, sleep-deprived but still giddy, holding her close and doing what many people have caught themselves doing while holding a newborn: speaking aloud what one imagines the child to be thinking. You know, it goes something like this: infant yawns . . . adult says in sleepy voice, "Oh, I'm sooooo sleepy! Yes I am!". Admit it. You've done it, too.

However, as I stood that day watching my baby girl stare ponderously into my eyes, I pretended she was saying things like, "Daddy, I don't have a single care in the world as long as I'm in your arms. While you're holding me, everything's all right. I'm safe. I don't have to worry about a thing as long as my daddy's got me!"

And that's when the tears filled my eyes. I could try to argue that it was lack of sleep, but the truth is that I was completely overwhelmed by a sense that what I was imagining my daughter saying is actually what God wants to hear from each of us: "I don't have a care in the world as long as I'm in Your arms, Father. All of my worries and frustrations fade away because I know you've got me." I had a deep conviction that this could be what Jesus meant when He encouraged us to become like a child:

"Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Mt.18:3)

After all, Jesus made it clear that one who believes in His heavenly Father has no cause for worry:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life . . . Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?" (Mt. 6:25,27)

So my marshmallowy insides have been revealed.  So the whole world knows I'm a huge softie.  Big deal!  I'm working on placing myself in my Father's arms and letting go of all of my worries in order to trust Him completely. Perhaps you will, too. 

After all . . . Your Daddy's Got You.

Why I Send My Child to Catholic School

It's official.  As of three weeks ago, I'm a Catholic School Parent.  After 15 years as a Catholic School Teacher/Administrator, I'm finally seeing life from the other side of the school handbook.  My son, just recently eligible for Junior Kindergarten is now a "Patriot" like his dad.

Sending my child to Catholic school was never really an option-- it's just something my wife (also a Catholic school teacher) and I always knew we would do.  We never really took the time to think about all of the things we hoped our child would gain from the experience.  After all, God has enabled us in some small way to try to provide those things for our students and their families for the last 15 years, so it just seemed natural.  

However, now that my child is there, I find myself constantly thinking about all of the ways I hope and pray this sacrifice impacts him.

Why do I send my child to Catholic school?  Because the parents, administrators, and teachers-- like me-- 

• Respect my place as the primary source of my child's faith education.
• Care more about my child's eternal/spiritual well-being, than his material/worldly well-being.
• Seek to help form my child's conscience along with his intelligence.
• Pray for my child . . . everyday . . . several times a day.
• Will feel they've failed if my child can ace his tests, but he doesn't have a relationship with Jesus.
• Know that school-- like the world-- is not perfect.  That since it's impossible to ensure nothing bad ever happens, the real key is how they teach my child to handle the bad situations that do arise.
• Are trying to create a school environment where my child has the opportunity to learn understanding and forgiveness.
• Want the best for my child, and love him as if he were their own.

My reasons reflect my unique perspective as both Catholic school educator and Catholic school parent, so I'm sure I've missed several things with this list.  I'd love for you to share your reasons in the Comments below, too.  May God continue to bless us all as we seek to provide the best for our kids!

Happy Catholic Schools Week 2012!


Want to read more?  A guy named Nick Senger wrote a list of 101 Reasons to Send Your Child to Catholic School.  Some are very funny.  All are wonderfully true.  Enjoy!

Recipe for Respect?

Those who honor their father will have joy in their own children, and when they pray they are heard. (Sirach 3:5)

Last week I shared this verse from Sirach Ch. 3, and I pointed out its connection to the Fourth Commandment: Honor your father and mother.

We tend to read this verse as a sign that God will bless us if we respectfully obey and care for our parents-- as if God is almost bribing us into good behavior. Since we know that's not the case, I propose a different interpretation.  Verse 5 of the third chapter of Sirach offers insight into the conditions necessary for growing faith-filled kids.  

Instead of looking at the verse as a "blessing," what if we look at it as describing the kind of parents and teachers we must be in order to grow faith-filled, respectful kids?  In other words, if we have learned humility, reverence, and patience-- qualities necessary for honoring our parents-- we'll be prepared to raise our kids to learn these qualities.

We only need to look at the last week of our lives with the eyes of faith to see that our Heavenly Father is constantly giving us opportunities to learn humility, reverence, and patience.  The idea at work that failed . . . humility.  Cradling a sleeping child in our arms . . . reverence.  Another traffic jam on the 5 South . . . patience.  The only real question we have to ask ourselves is: do we allow God to shape us through these experiences?

Heavenly Father, we pray for the humility to allow you to continue to form us into the parents and teachers you want us to be.  Soften our pride, awaken our sense of awe, and strengthen our willingness to endure suffering.  Give us the courage to teach these qualities to our children.